114 | Journaling That Feeds Your Brain w/ Steve Shane

Steve Shane is a top performing Realtor in North Florida and is a high performance coach for business owners in the real estate space. 

Steve's obsession with joy and performance has helped him create the GIVE ALL Neuro Journal to help everyone find fulfillment in their work.

He’s a super woke dude that makes gripping content I can’t take my eyes off.
 
Most importantly, he's a good friend of mine that I always have amazing conversations with.

This conversation is about:

1. How peak performers are lonely and often unsatisfied, and how to change that perspective to start enjoying  work more

2. Using our Brain's natural wiring to support a satisfactory way of living

3. How to seek fullfilment over grind

Connect with Steve!

@thegivealljournal on IG

givealljournal.com and @imsteveshane on IG

On LinkedIn Steve Shane

Connect with ME!
 
 Also, I'd love it if you connected with me on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Or shoot me an email at youshould@connectwithpablo.com with the "Heard CEC's Charod" in subject.

This that's a genius email address?  Me too, but I didn't come up with it.  It was the idea of my good friend, and super talented web designer, Nathan Ruff.

If you want your website redone, updated, and managed with unlimited updates for just $250/month (CRAZY GOOD DEAL RIGHT??), go to Manage My Website and hookup with one of the smartest, most talented guys I've ever met- THE Nathan Ruff.

Transcript

Steve Shane: 0:00

Hey, how you doing? I am Steve shame, the creator of the give all neural journal and from his real estate coach. I got connected through Pablo because we have a friend named JT who is awesome as well. And he said, Hey, you're awesome. You're awesome. Let's all be awesome together. And you should get to know Pablo because he will rap for you.

Pablo Gonzalez: 1:50

Welcome back to the chief executive connector podcast. I am your host, Pablo Gonzalez, your chief executive connector. And today. We got somebody that I'm a very big fan of. Steve Shane is a top performing realtor in north Florida and is a high performance coach for business owners in the real estate space. His obsession with joy and performance has helped him create the, give all neuro journal that we're going to talk about today to help everyone find fulfillment. In their work. He's a super woke dude that makes gripping content on Facebook that I just can't take my eyes off of my good buddy. One half of the new Navy spike ball team. Steve, Steve buddy.

Steve Shane: 2:31

Hello, Bob. How you doing buddy? I'm doing awesome, man. I'm super pumped to have your baby right here. Boom.

Pablo Gonzalez: 2:39

It's an inside joke from me buying a bunch of clothes from old Navy and showing up to spike ball and Steve being my partner and we dominated. So now we're gonna be

Steve Shane: 2:47

not very well. We definitely dominated that day.

Pablo Gonzalez: 2:51

As I told you, before we start the show and probably cause you listened to all my podcasts, you know, this, my whole thesis on human connection is there's two quickest ways. One is to add

Steve Shane: 3:01

value to someone's life, which

Pablo Gonzalez: 3:02

we're going to do here in your story and in what's going on with your journal. But the other is to share a vulnerability with people. So. I'd like to ask my guests to share something that they're struggling with right now, so that our friend that's listening in our ear can quickly connect to you and, and see you on a human level. Man. What are you struggling with these days?

Steve Shane: 3:20

Well, it, it sounds such a struggle. It's just an experience that I'm having and I'm experiencing a I'm going to be real right here. A marriage that's falling apart and also trying to restart a business. So I'm rebooting my entire life right now. you know, it, things, things dramatically change. I was building, I was working towards building a new business at the beginning of 2020 and got all my money and everything aligned up and then March 15 Pitt and all that disappeared. So I started scrambling and, and, you know, life was happening before that happened. And. Know, I adapted as quickly as I could and changed and like out life fee and life got complicated. and so I'm experiencing that I can choose to struggle with it, but I'm experiencing that. And everything that comes with it, man,

Pablo Gonzalez: 4:11

you know, you have always been this guy that every time I meet with you, you have this like wonderfully positive perspective. You seem to be very present and engaged with whatever I'm saying. And you know, you've been, you've been going through this long, straight. The entrepreneurial life is tough, right? Like the, the marriage life. And it's not completely solid underneath that and makes it exponentially harder. How do you, how do you show up as such a positive influence, man? Do you take time for yourself to feel the downs and share that with anybody or you kind of just always focusing on the positive. Can you give me a little bit around that?

Steve Shane: 4:44

Well, give me a big background on that. I'm almost 12 years sober. and I do a 12 step recovery program to help me with that. And so the benefit of being in that recovery program for myself and making it a priority in my life is that I've got a quarterback of men that know me completely. They know my shadows, they know my lights, they know everything in between. And because I'm fully seen and recognized by somebody, I feel safe to be who I am. and being able to have that space where somebody deeply cares about me and listens to me without judging me, helps me. Don't my, my baggage. And then I'm not taking it to the spike ball court. I'm not taking it to the listing appointment. I've left that where it needs to go. And I processed it so I can be present in everything else in my life. And I'm it's, it is a massive gift of my sober journey of that. Now I've moved multiple times in my sober journey and instantaneously, I find people who I can connect with and we can be that resource for each other. And it's, it's one of the most amazing things that's come from not drinking.

Pablo Gonzalez: 5:56

yeah, that's really powerful, man. To have that container where you can really let it out and be seen, as you just said, is definitely something that I think most people lack, right? Like is because people can have a wide social circle, but then there's no boundaries between the container and not the container or some other people just don't have people to do that with, but that what you just described sounds like a really ideal kind of scenario. And I didn't realize it, but I guess. I guess that's, that's what gets you to sobriety, right? That that's what gets you over the bridge when you're, when you're letting that go. And it's designed in such a way, because to get through these really, really hard times, people kind

Steve Shane: 6:36

of need that. Right? Well, yeah. And, and we're being programmed now because of the scroll and because of the swiping left and swiping, right. To find love and all this other stuff, we're being programmed by our phones and content in front of us that we only can show our good stuff. And like, there's, there's like a small tribe of people are like, oh, look, I'm, I'm, I'm broken too, but it's also, I'm broken too to generate content and things like that. And the w w w w our BS meter is really refined now because of that. So when we see somebody being transparent, but not really, we see that and it's, and we want authenticity in our life. and there's also this program and that tells us that we can't, we can't be broken. And then it's a natural instinct as humans. Because back when we were tribal, the people who were broken and who were sick, they were forced out of the village. So instinctually, we won't show our vulnerability because we don't want to be forced out of the village. That's like hardwired into us. So to be able to have a space, like you said, that container where I can say, Hey, this is something I'm struggling with, or this is a thought I've had, have you thought that had that thought, like, am I crazy like that to be able to have that space where I can trust that I can air that out and nobody's going to push me out of the village. but better yet because of the people I hang out with, we're an island of misfit toys. We all have weird baggage and we all get to come together and be like, I had this thought and be like, I don't have that thought, but I love you still, like, it's such a beautiful gift. That it gives me the space to, you know, be positive in everything else I do because I feel loved and it's taught me how to love myself in a way that I didn't know as possible. because at the end of the day, I think the journey for me is always if I love myself and if I'm okay with myself, then I can be okay with you because does that make sense? I can honor you completely because I honor me completely. It's that old, not mistake. The light in me sees light and new stuff.

Pablo Gonzalez: 8:33

Yeah, man, that makes total sense dude And this is this, isn't a microcosm kind of like why I love interacting with you, man. I feel like we always get deep really, really quickly. And you're just such a, like, You're such a light, man. I really appreciate this. Right? Like Bernie brown, I've heard her say something along the lines of the perfect boundary is the exact distance from where I can love you and love myself the same amount. Right. Which is kind of what you're, what you were describing there. Man.

Steve Shane: 8:58

I have a buddy from back in my Los Angeles days. she was a comedian and we're sitting by the bar one night and this is in my drinking days were having this conversation and she's like, I was super high the other day and I was watching two candles flicker. And when one candle flickered, the other one would stay still and watch it and kind of bend towards it a little bit. And then the other one would bend the other way and the other one would be still and what they were doing, they were honoring each other's dance. And that's what I realized, what love was. It's being able to sh she shared that with me and we both had that, you know, profound. I'm at the bar, holy cow, we understand life moment. but it's this profound moment where I want to watch you dance. I want to you to be completely in your light and in your ability and in your giftedness. And I want to honor that and give you the space to do that. And also I'd like to, I'd like the same from you, but I'm not, I'm not, I'm not jumping into your flame, trying to steal your flame. I'm not jumping into your plane, trying to get into your dance. I'm watching it and I'm honoring it and I'm respecting from a distance. I think that's why I enjoy hanging out with you because I get to watch you dance. You know, I get to a lot, to have dance and sing and like, and bring your whole entire spirit and everything you do. And I get to lean forward and lean in and I get to learn from you. I get to watch you. like you talked about how, how do we add value in people's life? Like from day one, when we met, you know through our friend JT, like that's been kind of our dance. It's like, how can it give to you? How can you give to me? how can I honor you? And it's such a cool it's a great relationship, but I feel like I can be completely honest with you. And like, you're one of those container people in my life as well. and that's, that type of intimacy is so rare in men's relationships. That it's really important to me to hold on those. especially men's relationships in the business world, because there's, there's the bros out there who are like, let's go get money you know, like, and that whole thing. And then there's the completely opposite side where like, you know, we're, we're, we're getting crystals and we're trying to like bring in the shamans together business together. And for me, it's hard to find my tribe and you, you and I connect on that like little bit in between, like how do we get in between that? Like, you know, the Spirit's taken care of us and also let's go grow this thing. it's a very interesting balance and we're able to do that together. And I, I love that about our relationship.

Pablo Gonzalez: 11:12

I'm touched man. Like I I, I completely agree with you about that, about yourself, right? Like the, like the idea that you are, you are one of these people that I can. You know, look for crystals, grow and bro with crystals and bro posing crystals. I love it. I love it dude. And, and like, you know, you're you are this rare archetype, right? Cause it's cause you're in the real estate world, the real estate world is super broey like on both sides, right? Like the, the female equivalent of the bro, we, realtor lady is also there as well. Right? Like the glitz and glamor, whatever man. But I let's, let's dive into, let's dive into some of the stuff that you're doing, man. Like I know that you are a top performing realtor. I know you've got this like VA company of call centers, man. And then you just launched this neuro journal. Tell me, tell me about this neuro journal, man. I'm super fascinated by this and by the way, I

Steve Shane: 12:04

pre-ordered one. Oh, thank you. We're excited to get that to you. so what, what I've experienced over the past few years is, you know, with, with the ups and downs of life, You know, how do you maintain your motivation, your positivity and your focus, because life is going to happen. And, and so I, because I'm constantly seeking that edge and I'm surrounding myself with top performers and things like that, you know, we're all reading each other like great books and things like that. and for me, it was really important to try to figure out how do I be okay when I'm not okay. and. I found a lot of those tools in the books I was reading in the masterminds I was doing at the conferences I would go to. And one of the things that really got me like geeked out was brain science. And what I mean by that is I felt myself trying to do things, but it wasn't working, but I was doing what the coaches said. I was doing what the book says. There was something, there was a gap that was missing in there. And what I was actually doing that I was working against my brain thinking thoughts and th different, creating different thought patterns that were. Not helping me. So as I dove more into brain science, I learned about how there's neuro-plasticity and you know, how certain hormones affect our brain and our body different ways and our nervous system. And the fact that 95% of the things that we do on a regular basis, we have no control over, like I'm talking to you. Yes, that's the control, but how am I standing right now? Like my muscles are holding me in place on these bones and my lungs are moving up and down, pushing air in and out. And I'm not thinking of that consciously. It's just happening. But that means my nervous system is still happening, even though I'm having a thought. So there's a lot of processing power and going up there in my brain. And if I'm not paying attention to what I'm putting in my brain, then I can't guarantee my results. But if I pay attention, what I'm putting in my brain, I can have better odds of my results working out in my favor. so as I dove more into this, I just. Created a practice for myself personally, around gratitude and intention and visualizations and being prepared and sending love to other people and appreciation. and learning is a massive tool for me. And also love is a massive tool for me because I think that's the whole point of why we're here. and so the give all journal is actually an acronym and I'm gonna hold it up for the people who are watching on the video. It's G is for gratitude. The, I is for intention. The V is for visualization. E is for equipped a is for appreciation, learning, and love and what those things do in our body. In our nervous system, in our brain. If we use that on a regular basis, you feel better. Your life may not be better. Your business may not be better, but your motivation, your focus and your positivity is up. And if, if I'm in control of those things, I'm in control of where the ship's going. one of the, one of my digital mentors is a guy named Tom ferry. He's a brilliant real estate coach online. And Tom talked about, on one of his podcast or like one of his, you know, digital content moments, how, if you're on a boat so, and you're going in the ocean, and You don't have a destination. Every single wave feels like the last wave you're ever going to get hit by because it just, oh, here's another wave. Here's another way, boom. But if I know where I'm going, if I set my sight on the shoreline, when I hit a wave, I'm going to feel that wave, but it doesn't matter cause I'm going to keep going. So if I'm in control of my motivation, my focus and my positivity, I've set my shoreline. I've said this I've set my sail better. I'm able to control the impacts of life and they don't, they don't hang on me as much. They drift off me. Because I'm in control of my mindset. and that's what the journal is all for. It's, it's a daily practice to help you control your mindset because again, life is going to happen. and that's, that's the whole point of it. And I'm really excited to share it with the world. I've done a couple of beta tests with some friends and you know, a couple of friends in recovery, a couple of friends in the real estate world, a couple of friends outside of it. And they've all come back to me and said, I didn't realize how much this would help. Like this really is helped me just stay on top of my game. And it's, it's so heartwarming to know that this thing that I created out of my, my pain and my suffering and my struggle is now a gift to other people. And I'm really excited that it's going to happen. and more people will get to try it out.

Pablo Gonzalez: 16:37

That's really cool, man. I like it. Yeah. Hold that thing up again, man. It's like, it's like, it's like a Bible bound.

Steve Shane: 16:42

What does that thing? It looks super. Yeah. It's, it's got like a wax coding, a little Boston there era. And then this is the beta. So this is actually when we get it in production, these two pages will be switched, but you can see that it's just, it's a simple daily practice. Every page is pretty much the same. you're going to have the first thing you need is here. Write down things for things you're grateful for. that's like the most important thing. Gratitude creates an abundance mindset, but there's gratitude lists. And then there's gratitude lists with intention. And what I mean by that is when you say what you're grateful for, I'm grateful for it. But when you say I'm grateful and why, what you're doing is your heart charging that connection now. So the way our brain works is the cliche is neurons fire together, wire together. So in other words, when I create a connection. That's a front connection. So if I do something over and over and over again, I'm creating that connection and destroy. The more I do it, the stronger it is another aspect of that. If something is emotionally charged like trauma or like the birth of your child, do you remember that it's an emotional nervous system connection? So if I think about what I'm grateful for, and then I put an emotion to it that charges up and strengthens my ability to have gratitude in every aspect of my life. And then my, my abundance mindset expands. And then I get to walk around with that light feeling because everything around me is I'm grateful for the sunshine, grateful for the food. I'm grateful for my bed. I'm grateful for the fact that I'm standing. I can breathe. I can talk. I'm hanging out with Pablo. I can find gratitude much faster when I train my brain to find it. And then I strengthen that connection. And then that's what, that's what the journal does without me. Like there's a little explainer at the beginning of the journal, kind of talking to you about how everything works and why it works in our brain, but it's just those little things. And if I didn't tell you that you wouldn't really get the value out of saying gratitude plus emotion. Yeah. But adding those two together, it makes a huge difference in the way you approach your life.

Pablo Gonzalez: 18:50

I'm super pumped to get this thing now. Right. When I bought this thing letter one letter, listen, man. When I bought this thing, I was like, I'm going to support Steve no matter what, but now that you explain to this I'm super, super pumped, I literally just finished the art of the impossible by Stephen Coller, which is the neuroscience and biology of flow state. Right. So

Steve Shane: 19:11

I gotta read

Pablo Gonzalez: 19:11

that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send you the audio book, man. And it's, and it's. There's a lot in there that really is supported by absolutely everything you just said. Right? Like gratitude and all of these different things and all the things that you can do to kind of what you said, it's that practice, right? Like if you, if you wire your brain to recognize flow, state quicker, you're able to get into it quicker and you're able to, you know, kind of do all these things. Well. How did you, when did you first start studying the brain and studying all this, like neuroscience? Was it while you were getting sober? Was it before that, have you always had an interest in this? Did you minor in psychology in college or something? Like

Steve Shane: 19:48

what? I was a music theater major. I was learning how to sing and dance. Um, I started geeking out on it because you know, probably about two or three years ago. one of the first books I got into was Charles Duhigg, I think it's, he's kind of the first gateway for a lot of people, brain science wise with the power of habit. And the thing that tripped me up reading that book was he talked about the T maze. So it was amazing in the shape of a T. And there was a little box at the bottom of the tea and they put the mouse there and it had all the little brain things on top of the mouse. And then there would be a click sound. The gate would go up and the mouse would sniff his way down the end of the T maze in the shape, and then go to the left to find a piece of chocolate. Well, when they first did it, it took the mouse like 20 minutes to get down a straight line and turn left to find that chocolate. And they measure the brain activity of that, of that animal. At the time the brain activity is going crazy. It's, it's trying to read, you know, where my feet, where I am in, where am I in this new space and all this and the brain activity is going crazy. Well, they re they run that, that thing, that little maze, like 200 times with the, with the the mouse. And by the time they get the 200. They put the mouse in the little box and the brain activities going wild. Why am I in this box? What's going on? And then that click happens and it found the brain activity went down to virtually zero and the mouse went down into the left brain activity, went down. So if the brain activity goes down, that means I can process other things. I can do other stuff while I'm doing this. And the example they use in the book, which is fantastic is the first time you learned how to drive and you backed out of the driveway, you know, you're checking your mirrors, you're looking all over. There's so much going on. And if you thought about pulling out of the driveway today, you probably were like on your phone drinking coffee at the same time. And you're like, you don't even realize it. I mean, people were actually left even though we're, you know, a lot of us are still locked out. Like it just happens. Like you can do all these other activities while you do this core activity that you intended to do. And I think that's what triggered me was I learned that, okay. I, my brain is going to learn stuff and put it into my subconscious. So how do I support my subconscious to support me in the activities I want to do? And that's where I started reading Dr. Daniel, amen. Joe Dispenza. I mean, Tony Robinson has a ton of stuff on that with NLP neuro-linguistic programming. I started getting more into that stuff and the more and more I learned about it, the more I was like, wow, this, these are tools that are available to everybody, you know, and we all can benefit from this, but we need tools that make it simple and approachable and make it a part of our daily life. Because otherwise it feels like I have to do a 65 minute meditation. I have to listen to this guy, speaks to me and I've got to do affirmations and all this other should we think that we should be doing all these things? the purpose of this journal was how do I make it a 15 minute practice? Have you do it in 10 or 15 minutes? So you can get it done. And it helps you be productive because you know, we talk about in the journal, you know, visualize your most successful day. how do you be equipped? Like what do you need to pack in your bag today? Cause that's important. And those there's journals that are all about emotions. And there are, there are like, let's do some like therapy in a journal and you're emotionally hung over after doing it. It's like a retreat in a book and you can't do it in 15 minutes. That's a 30, 45 minutes, if not two hour practice. And then you've got the super productivity journals that are all about to do list and goals. And they have like the quotes that like make you feel like less of a person because you're not working as hard as the book. and there has to be a balance between the two, because we're humans, we're not robots. We're humans. We're not just emotional puddy. Like we have to have that balance because we're still dads. We're still moms. We're still business owners or employees like life is going to happen. We're still Spikeball partners.

Pablo Gonzalez: 23:36

All of this rings so true to me, right? Like this year for me is like the year of discipline. Right. Cause I'm for a very, very long, long time. I was kind of self-sabotaging because while I was okay with very high expectations being put on me from other people and I I'm in I'm in for the high expectation, right. Like I, I do believe that I've been giving enough talent to be able to require high expectations of myself. How was just never okay. With the path there that the people putting the expectations on me expected me to take. And as I've gotten able to kind of draw my own path, and now I see that light of the high expectation coming over the horizon and it's, and you know, that sun is rising over, I think what is going to be. This decade of my life, where I'm really creating this impact and I'm really believing it and I'm doing it the way I want to do it. I've realized that what I need to do is dedicate myself to discipline and, and stop these kind of like habits that stopped me from, you know, the procrastination and all these different things. And the way I'm doing it right now is very similar to what you just described, right? Like I've, I've, I've given myself, I need to like meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and stretch for two minutes. And, you know, then when I'm walking my dog or whatever, I'm listening to some content and I'm putting some good stuff in my ear and, and the idea of anything more. And I still struggle with it, right? Like even the idea of anything more than 10 to 15 minutes to put into my day would be daunting, right? Like there's, there's no way that I could do it.

Steve Shane: 25:18

And I will put my morning routine was like an hour and a half long between working out and meditating and writing. And it was an hour and a half. Like seriously. And it was just I just had a case of the should. That was just shooting all over myself. Like if I don't do this, I'm never going to be the person I'm supposed to mind, blah, blah, blah. And I was just, I was putting myself on the cross and I was getting something out of it. I was getting some sort of satisfaction, like, look how hard I'm working, but it didn't show up on the ledger line. It didn't show up on, on the happiness for Steve line. And then also I've hit, I hit the mountain when I got to the mountain and I got where I'm supposed to be. The sun came over and the sun was shining on me and it felt empty. So that's the trap we run into. It's like, if we're working so hard, what are we working for? You know, I dunno. then I get deep in and then we're talking about mortality.

Pablo Gonzalez: 26:21

Yeah, bro. I get it. I've showed my pants too, you know, so, ah, sorry. I had to get that joke in there. Yeah, man. You know, so, so I guess, I guess where my brain goes in this conversation is what about the person, you know, what is going on in my head when I don't meditate? Right. Like, I, I was just kind of telling you before we started that we've had this, I've had the super efficient week, right? Like take care of my wife, crushing at work the two weeks prior to that, you know, I started off the year really like in my morning routine. Food cleanse, eating super healthy. I was like, my brain was on fire. That was January. Then like through mid February, by mid February, I started cheating a little bit on my meals and cheating a little bit on my morning routines by like early March, I was like Buffalo, chicken fingers, sob and calzone and not meditating. Right? Like what is, what is going on? Brain-wise like how the person that buys cause I'm about to be this person that owns your journal. Right? Like where do I need to go? When, when I'm, when I'm not, when I haven't opened up the journal in a couple of days, like, what does this happen to you? Right? Like when you haven't gone to that in a couple of days, where do you go there to like re kick up the habit to like re get back into that routine and start doing those little things?

Steve Shane: 27:47

Honestly, for me, it starts the night before, because if I'm making the decision at six o'clock or five, o'clock when my alarm goes off on what I'm going to do, I've already lost. Hmm. I, I know, I mean last night is a great example. I had a great friend come into town. It's Sunday night. I know I should be in bed by no later than 10 o'clock on a Sunday night. If I want my morning to be, if I want to have control of my morning and do the things that I enjoy doing in the morning. and I enjoy them. Like I like working out, I liked meditating. I like praying. I like taking my dog for a walk. I like all that stuff, but my buddy came in down on me. We had a great dinner at river and post and it was awesome. And I haven't seen him in three years. He's one of my favorite people in the entire world I get home at like 1130 and then like, you gotta decompress. So then, you know, I'm scrolling through the feeds and it's 1130. And then by the time I'm in bed, it's like midnight and I'm the person who's in bed by like 9:30-10:00 like, this is late for me. I made a decision that, you know, my next morning I, I hit the snooze button three times today. Like the decision was made before I even woke up the day. The day of, you know Ed Mylett he's a great podcaster good book called maxed out. he, one of his favorite, one of my favorite quotes from him is self-confidence and discipline is keeping the promises we make to ourselves. and so when I make a promise the night before that I'm going to be in bed by 10, so I can wake up on time and honor my commitments of doing that. So that's where it starts. It's not, it's not the act of the journal. It's not the act of anything. else It's a decision. at least in my opinion, what about you?

Pablo Gonzalez: 29:28

No, I think we, I think we tend to move away from pain faster than we move towards pleasure, man. So like there's times where that pleasure Quentin is kicking so bad. So like, you need the pleasure to be really, really high. Or the pain. Right. So, so there's times where I'm like, when I'm really rolling, I'm very, very motivated, right? Like right now I'm super motivated. And, but to break myself out of that two week slump that I was in, it was like, my wife's about to have surgery. I need to show the fuck up and, and I got to get it straight. Right. So like

Steve Shane: 30:05

I'm barely. Now, was that, was that a pain twist or was that a pleasure choice?

Pablo Gonzalez: 30:10

I don't know, man, I guess I've never thought of it that way. It was a, it was a consequence choice, right? Like it was like the pain,

Steve Shane: 30:17

I guess it's pain. the Fear of consequences is the fear of pain.

Pablo Gonzalez: 30:21

Okay. Then yeah. Then it was a paint choice. Right. And, and I think that is, that's kind of perpetuated throughout my life. Right. Like my, I perform really well under pressure right like when the lights are on I'm good. and I often will self-sabotage until the point where it's like now I got to come up with a rabbit on that and I always do, and I always fall upwards right. So. So I'm really just trying to build in these guard rails around me. And and I find that I, you know, I, I, I truly truly care. I'm very extrinsically motivated, right? Like, I, I care more about the other in general than I do about myself. So whenever I tie my goal to, to, I don't want to let somebody down or, you know, how it, how it, how it relates to how this benefits somebody else. It tends to work better for me. And, you know, this week was a perfect example of that, right? Like, like, like I've literally just been a beast. because I know that my wife needed it and she's done it a million times for me. Right. So, but in general, you know, I,

Steve Shane: 31:26

it, it's interesting how the conversation goes from fear of consequences. And then you shifted into love you shift that you change, you flip the script. You said, I have a fear of consequences. I got to do something. And then you motivated yourself through service service, which is interesting. like I, I had a mentor growing up when I was in Los Angeles, he was like, everything comes down to fear and love. Steve, everything comes down to fear and love and you took fear and you flipped it to love. And then that became your motor, which is so cool. And I love that about you, like your actions, like your, your career Miami you're working with, you know, eco-friendly building that's, that's out of love for your universe and your world and wanting to give to the world, you engage with a better world than you came with when you're motivated by love. Like. It's amazing because fear and love, in my opinion, can't live in the same space. So if I'm in love, fear, doesn't bother me. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm crushing on it but if I have fear controlling my life, love can't exist there because I have this myth that I'm separate from love. And that's what for me, that's what fear means. and when you're in that love space, so much wonderful things can happen because it's deaf long, like love is deaf. Long life can hit you, boom. And it rolls off like, and we keep going and you don't need extra love. There's always so much of it if we lean into it. And that's, that's honestly why the last letter of the giveaway is love. Because if I start with gratitude and ended with love my morning on Teflon all day long, like I can be motivated all day long. and I get to keep that spirit with me wherever I'm going. And I think that's really rad that you were able to take that, that. Uncomfortable feeling you had of being in a funk and turn it into service.

Pablo Gonzalez: 33:18

I mean, dude, you just, you just fucked shut off Shaka, Zulu spirits thread through my fields, man. Like that was yeah bro.

Steve Shane: 33:26

Kristin bros,

Pablo Gonzalez: 33:28

crystal bros, man. Like nobody's ever put it like that for me, but it makes a lot of sense, man. Like if, instead of, if I can flip that narrative to love, cause I, you say, I say it all the time, human beings are happiest when they're in service, right? Like I, I want to be in service and if I can, if I can change it from fear of letting somebody down to like motivated by love of propping somebody up and helping somebody else win, that is so much more powerful. And that's, that's a microcosm of this week. So then talk to me about. Talk to me about the average person that, like you said, you were on the top of the mountain, but you weren't fulfilled. Did you lack love? Did you have too much fear? Why, why does that happen? Why does, why does the person that achieves their goal feel unfulfilled

Steve Shane: 34:15

expectations? It's a simple thing. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen and maybe a resentment against yourself, or does that mean again, circumstances, but expectations. When I, when I say, when I get here, this will be better. Or when I get here, this will be worse when I'm telling the future what's going to happen. I'm going to be disappointed no matter what, because I do not have a magic potion that gives me, you know, no shirt on disabilities in my life. So if you're so focused on the end result, the end result is going to fulfill some, some hole in you. Some, some feeling that you, that you need to fix. It won't fix it. It can't because if it's not there to do that, the trying to fall in love with the process is one of the hardest things. I still struggle with this on a regular basis. Cal Newport's book, deep work is a great example of, you know, people who fall in love with the process are incredibly fulfilled because they're in love with learning that, you know, if they're a woodworker understanding the difference between working with, you know, Cedar or nutmeg, I don't know what, but that might be accurate if I'm not, please let me know. but like understanding the process of how to, how to word with those things and the process that they fall in love with. They build the canoe. Great canoes. Great. Can he works fine, but learning how to build that canoe in the most efficient, beautiful way possible and falling in love with that. If we can figure out how to do that. That's that's the juice right there, because it doesn't matter how it turns out because I did my very best and I gave everything I had in the process and the results. Aren't my business. The work that I do is my business. And that's hard because when, when you think the results are your business and you get to the top of the mountain and you look around, you're like, oh, this isn't what I expected at all. This is rather disappointing. Or this is like way more work than I wanted to get to. Like when you get to those points, because you had an expectation, there's going to be disappointment. There's going to be reality versus what you ever imagined reality is, and there's going to be a disconnect. I think that's, that's the hardest part about life. It's, you know, how do we deal with things when they don't go our way? And I'm like, I'm talking about where my life is right now, rebuilding the business, you know, learning what life is to be, you know, separated from the person I thought I was going to be with forever and like learning how to be a parent. Separate from that, you know, there's, there's a ton of things I didn't expect to happen. but if I remove the expectations, it's kind of like what we were talking about at the beginning of the call. That means I got rid of the struggle because the struggle is my idea of what things are supposed to be versus what they are in reality. That's a struggle, but if I'm in acceptance of reality and where I am right now, then I'm just having an experience and I take the judgment out of the experience and then take the emotion of the experience and then I'm just experiencing it. and then it's a much easier way to live than trying to be at the top of the mountain and telling the world where it's supposed to be. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Pablo Gonzalez: 37:30

Yeah. It makes total sense. What is, what is the first time that you fell in love with the process

Steve Shane: 37:38

making music. Still in love with that man, right. Writing a song. So before I got into to real estate, I was a wannabe musician, Los Angeles playing the club scene. I moved to Nashville, Tennessee because I realized that I couldn't afford to live in LA anymore. And you know, there was still music in Nashville. LA is an entertainment town. Nashville was at the time was a music town. and so I got there and the whole point of that whole story is, is I want to be able to write the best possible song I could write. and I imagine a song being like a chunk of marble and inside that chunk of marble is David inside the chunk of marble. It was a beautiful statue that I have to chip and chisel away to find the right rhyme pattern, the right melody, the right rhythm, the right mood and experience. And my job as a songwriter is to take you from here to there. wherever there is supposed to be, or maybe it's just to keep you where you want to be. Maybe we'd got to, I got to write a sad song because you need to stay sad you know, eat your Ben and Jerry's and feel those feelings all the way. So you can be done feeling those feelings and move on to the next day. so for me, the falling in love in the process of writing music man, it's, it's the best feeling, man. It's, it's creating quite literally nothing like from the ether and bringing it into thought and form, and then you listen to it as, as a listener and say, oh my gosh, I went somewhere with you. That's so cool. so yeah, I fell in love with the process through music. and I think the way that it's transferred into business is now I get to take that chunk of marble is now. How do I find, how do I find joy in making this business, you know, sing how do I make the business sing And what I mean by that is how do we get efficient? How do I still have free time to be a dad? How do I, you know, give exceptional service to people? Because again, I'm creating something that I have, nothing a business is just an idea. You know again, this is crystal bro stuff. And, and I think that's what I really enjoy about building businesses and building these things is the process of creating is the coolest part of what I get to do. and then also when we plug people into that process and watch their life and their experience grow and their mentality change and shift to positivity and abundance and realize that, you know, they were a bartender three weeks ago and now they made as much. In one transaction, selling a house and they would in an entire month of bartending, that's a pretty cool experience to give to somebody and then watch them grow because of that, that really juices me up. that's why I love being, be able to coach people is how do we take your business from here to here, but really what's exciting to me is how do you change from here to here? that's, that's this, that's the process stuff I love.

Pablo Gonzalez: 40:32

I love it, man. I'm this is awesome, dude. alright. Do you wanna I'm like, yeah, like I love your crystal, bro. how did how did we meet Steve?

Steve Shane: 40:43

We met through our friend JT Rhodes who owns a, a painting business and he, he owns a couple of different businesses as well. I think you guys were self-growth. Yes. And he said you and Pablo think alike and you guys are building stuff you need to meet. and you know, that's, that's how we happened. We grabbed a cup of coffee and we hung out and we were like, okay, we're friends now, we're friends, regardless of what we're doing, we're going to hang out and learn from each other and grow with each other. And that's, you're one of my favorite people I know. And in Jacksonville, I'm grateful for you right back at you, man.

Pablo Gonzalez: 41:17

I, you know, I, I asked that story cause I'm, you know, I, I asked a lot of my guests, how do we meet and why did you choose to become my friend? Right. You know? And, and, and for us, particularly, we met like right on my troth, bro. Like we met, like I was, I was at the depths of my like seeking journey where I was at my bottom. And I think from there it kind of started slowly creeping upwards. But what, what about, what about our meeting for coffee made you want to want to keep me in your life, man? Like I felt like I didn't have a lot

Steve Shane: 41:48

to offer back then. You're a dreamer. You're a dreamer who does shit. Like I want to be around people who see the world better and do something about it. I don't hang out with people who talk about changing their life. I hang out with people who change their life. And you were doing that. Like, even though you were in a place that you were uncomfortable with, you weren't, you weren't in love with your life. But again, you said you were in pain when you transferred that into an act of service of how do I connect with the most people as possible and connect them with people who can help them grow it. Wasn't about you. And you found a way to take that, that, you know, uncomfortable place you were in and you changed your life in such a profound way and powerful way. yeah. I hang out with people who do shit.

Pablo Gonzalez: 42:38

All right, man. You ready for the lightning

Steve Shane: 42:39

round?

Pablo Gonzalez: 42:43

What is your favorite restaurant? Where is it? And what do you order.

Steve Shane: 42:48

Ooh. All right. Favorite restaurant is a little cafe in Los Angeles called the mustard seed cafe. It, they may have 10 tables now because of COVID. They may have to. but there there's one server and like three guys behind the line and they were my friends every Monday and Tuesday, I would show up there and have read a book and it wasn't about the food. It was about the people and people, I just fall in love with people. and the food's good. I would have like an egg scramble of some sort and read a book. That's what I would do. That was my, my, I called them Steve dates. I would start there, I'd go to mustard seed, and then I would go do some adventure by myself and I would really recommend everybody go take a Pablo date or Steve date or a Betsy date, whatever it go. Treat yourself to falling in love with yourself. Excellent.

Pablo Gonzalez: 43:34

Where what part of LA is it a man.

Steve Shane: 43:36

that would be

Pablo Gonzalez: 43:39

Oh, you lived, you lived in that area?

Steve Shane: 43:41

Yeah, I lived on I lived off Beachwood canyon for a really long time. and I bartended all

Pablo Gonzalez: 43:46

over there too. Right. Very cool. All right. what content are you most into right now? This could be what book you're obsessed with. It could be what podcasts? You know, what influencer are you following? what Netflix and series and chill are you like super like watching right now? Like what is, what is the content that's most going through your, your ears or your eyes?

Steve Shane: 44:03

I'm obsessed with Tik it's well, it's not because of like the content I'm creating the content I'm creating, I'm using tiktok as a platform to create a video. And then I blast it on all my other social networks, mostly because my community being that I'm 38 year old. White man is on Instagram and Facebook. So I use this as a platform to reach those one piece of content that goes into our pillar content. But what's fascinating about Tik TOK is this, it's a bunch of people repurposing each other's stuff, and it's all positive. It's all like, oh, look what I did with your content. I made your thing different or cooler or better or different. Like it's a super collaborative space. That's super open. you know, and people who are crushing it in there, are John Mayer just came on like three weeks ago. Cause he's got a record coming out in a couple of months and he's crushing Tik TOK. If you're not following him on Tik TOK, you're missing out on really good music. Like he taught people how to play one of his songs on Tiktok I had a guitar lesson from John Mayer on Tik TOK. Like that's profound the way that you can attack and get community so quickly in that space. And it's still early on that you can win in that space. I think.

Pablo Gonzalez: 45:10

I'm going to need, you're the first person to present. Take, talk to me in a way, like I get that it's super positive and it's fun. You're the first person that presents any talk to me in a way that I'm like, oh shit, I gotta, I gotta start doing some of this. And I'd love to, I'd love to kind of like sit with you and kind of fiddle around on Tik TOK and see what ya awesome, man. what is something that you were sure about in your twenties

Steve Shane: 45:28

that, you know, but I knew anything that I knew anything. I mean, man, I, I thought I was going to be a musician for the rest of my life. I thought I'd live in LA for forever cause I was going to be famous. Like, like there were so many things that I were sure of. but what I've, what I've learned as I've gotten older is be less sure of everything. Be more curious.

Pablo Gonzalez: 45:52

Awesome. Awesome. All right. So I don't know if this bleeds into the same thing, but what's your favorite piece of advice that you've ever received or your go-to piece of advice that you really like to give.

Steve Shane: 46:01

oh, the best piece of advice I've ever received. things about my best advice, the first piece of advice, I did not hear it until much later was don't drink so much. It took a long time to figure that one out. and the other piece was remaining curious. you know I have a spiritual way of life and I'm told that I will be contacted. Like if I continue to seek, I will have a relationship because I'm seeking that relationship. And I'm curious about that relationship. and that's really important to me that I'm constantly trying to date my higher power, my God. and because when you're dating, you're trying to cultivate a relationship. so that's the, what I've received. and what I give to people. If there's any message that I leave anybody is that you are perfect the way you are, even. I know that sounds so cliche, but what I mean by that is like you were divinely designed and you're perfect the way you are. And the minute we accept that and understand that I'm here, so let's make something I can ride with my life. If everybody embraced that, and then we embrace it. Other people are fucking rad and divine. Like how cool would that will be like, like that's, if we can all embrace that and lean into, I love myself. I'm divinely designed. So are you let's rock God.

Pablo Gonzalez: 47:23

Our world would be so beautiful.

Steve Shane: 47:25

and that's what I would love to see.

Pablo Gonzalez: 47:28

Buddy. I am I cannot be a bigger ally to you in that mission, right? Like that is what I'm here to that's right? Like everybody has value, right? Like we are, you are enough. I am enough. Everybody has value. Let's see it in other people, man. That was beautiful, man. That touched me. Steve, before I asked you the last question, I'm going to link to the, give all journal.com. I highly suggest our friend that just hung out with us. If you're not buying the students journal. I, I dunno. I dunno why you listen to this podcasts, right? Like your Instagram. I, I am Steve Shane on IgE. Is that also your tick-tock? yes it is. I am Steve Shane, let her, I let her M Le yeah, correct. Let her, I let her end. Steve. Shane is, I'm going to link to that, but right now is your chance to, you know, give a pitch for the journal or promote whatever you want to promote. Like right now that's your stage to, to send somebody or how to get in contact with you, whatever you want to say right now.

Steve Shane: 48:18

Come hang out with me on there's. We also have an Instagram for the journal. It's the give all journal. Instagram. and you know, if you want to come hang out and learn about what we're doing with the journal, that's where it is. I'm on Tik TOK, making some funny videos about real estate. That's fun place to hang out and definitely check out the website, give all journal.com. and we would really, really love for some people to, you know, jump in and use this tool and share their experience with others. actually what I would like to do is Pablo I'd love for you to pick like three people who comment on this, you know, distribution picked three of them. I'm going to give your three favorite people, a hard copy versions of this for free. And you know, I'll just put it

Pablo Gonzalez: 48:59

right now. If you've heard this podcast, email me at you should connect with Pablo. You should add connect with pablo.com and I will connect you immediately to Steve to get free drones. Got it. Yeah,

Steve Shane: 49:10

let's do it. And I'd love for you guys to get it in your hands and use it. I think it makes a profound impact in your life,

Pablo Gonzalez: 49:17

man. I've never had anybody do that. Let, let let's. Let's see of our friend listening right now is going to take action. I've never had

Steve Shane: 49:23

a direct outreach, right? Hang out with people who do shit.

Pablo Gonzalez: 49:27

That Steve, last question I ask everybody, where do you find that community? Where do I find

Steve Shane: 49:33

community? I can I find community with people who do shit.

Pablo Gonzalez: 49:41

Yeah. Okay. I'm so happy we did this man. Right? Like I'll be ma from, from the moment I've met you, every interaction I have with you brings a smile to my face, right? Like I'm glad that we've gotten closer and closer. I'm glad that, you know, we have this like spike ball ritual that makes it send me more consistent, but being able to spend this. You know, one hour really picking your brain and your zone of genius. Without me just talking about myself all the time has, has just very much you're such an awesome guy, man. And like, I, I really, I, I love you to pieces, man. Like you're just, you're just this like bright, bright, light every time that you're around me. And I need more people like that in my life, man. So I'm just really, really grateful that we did this. I'm really, really grateful to have you as a friend. And I want to support you and you know, selling this journal and selling real estate, whatever I can, man. So thank you for doing this.

Steve Shane: 50:36

I'm grateful for you, buddy. I love you so much in like, like I said, you know, I, I love being around you and I loved that. The journey you're on and I'm super excited to be in the front row watching it. So keep it up. You're the best man. Awesome.